Thursday, October 06, 2011

Nightmare Student

Me: "Your essay is due on Monday. Use your outline as a guide - it's ok if you want to add, delete, or change the order of some of the information. You don't need to redo your outline even if you change any information. You don't need to ask me, just do what you need to do to complete the assignment. Remember that each paragraph needs to have a minimum of 5 sentences. Any questions?"

Silence.

Class dismissed.

My nightmare student lingers behind.

Nightmare student: Miss, I only have 4 sentences in this paragraph, is that ok?
Me: No. You need at least five.
Nightmare student: But I only have 4.
Me: Well, you need at least five so, add some more detail.
Nightmare student: I don't think I can, so can I just keep it with 4 sentences?
Me: Ok.
Nightmare student: Ok? Really?
Me: Yes. I mean, you'll lose points but you can do whatever you want.
Nightmare student: Hmmm. Ok, so if I need to add some more information that's not on the outline, can I do it?
Me {trying unbelievably hard to keep my cool at this point}: What did I say in class?
Nightmare student: You said to use the outline.
Me: And?
Nightmare student: I don't remember.
Me: Do what you need to do to complete the assignment. All the instructions are in the book.
Nightmare student: So can I add more information.

{Kill me now.}

Me: Yes.
Nightmare student: So should I retype my outline?
Me: No. {I had to put a stop to this} I explained all of this already before. I'm sure you understand. Read the instructions in the book. Ask a friend if you're unsure. I'm not repeating any of this information again.
Nightmare student: Ok. But you said we can email you if we have any questions, right?




{Sob}

Me: Yes, but I will not answer any questions about things I've covered in class or that are in the book. Only specific questions related to your assignment.

I am NOT looking forward to checking my email this weekend. There's always one student every semester that makes you dread walking into class. Sigh.

9 comments:

Dr. Fat To Fit said...

This is REALLY funny.

PlumPetals said...

LOL I know -- she's driving me crazy though! :)

deanna said...

Lol... I love reading a teachers perspective.

Pam Lofton said...

Your nightmare student reminds me of my ADHD daughter. If there was too much information given it overwhelmed her and she was more confused than ever. When she tried to understand all the directions, she just couldn't process. Even at home I had to give her one thing at a time and that worked out just fine. At school we had to go through all kinds of tricks to find what worked for her. This continued throughout college! I remember one teacher in particular who told me- "I teach the class and, when I'm finished, I say, 'come on up Maggie' and I teach it to her a totally different way." Of course, there was that boy in one of her high school classes who acted like your student because he was trying to piss off the teacher...LOL

Julie said...

I have a daycare wee one that is like that. Sometimes it's cuz he doesn't listen however he also just can't put two and two together at times to come to the right answer. Patience and just maybe she'll get it otherwise I see a grade that will need working on.
Blessings!!

Maren said...

Hahahaha, that is hilarious! I've had one person (at least) like that in my classes throughout uni. :D

Thursday's Child said...

This, this right here, is one of the reasons I love teaching my pre-schoolers more than my last high school job

Blog Wobble said...

LOL I feel your pain and you have the patience of a saint but I admit this made me chuckle :D

Dr. J said...

I've heard that there are no bad students only bad teachers!

A quote made up by a student, no doubt :-)