Okay. It’s started. Last night, my anxiety about my research and writing got so bad that I couldn’t get to sleep. I stayed up late and worked until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I don’t think I slept … it was more like I passed out from exhaustion and was jolted awake, not because I was all refreshed and ready to go, but because I started to see myself at my desk in my dreams … the sharp anxiety pain in my abdomen got me up and straight to my desk with just about 4 hours of sleep.
Anxiety and stomach cramps are the first sign of my pre-deadline stress.
The second sign, I whine. The first white that comes out of my mouth is, “I can’t do it. I’m going to fail.” This is followed by, “What have I gotten myself into? I’m not smart enough.” Then this is followed by random groans and moans … never a good sign when this happens.
The third sign, and this is when it gets really worrying, is when I start reciting the words of The Bangles’ song “If she knew what she wants.” Note that I said reciting and not singing. I (softly) recite the first two parts of the song in quadruple time! I have absolutely no idea why I do this, why this song, or how/when this happened. All I know is that when I start doing this, it’s a bad sign and all those in the nearby vicinity better make a run for it!
Voice of Reason
5 years ago