Me: "Your essay is due on Monday. Use your outline as a guide - it's ok if you want to add, delete, or change the order of some of the information. You don't need to redo your outline even if you change any information. You don't need to ask me, just do what you need to do to complete the assignment. Remember that each paragraph needs to have a minimum of 5 sentences. Any questions?"
Silence.
Class dismissed.
My nightmare student lingers behind.
Nightmare student: Miss, I only have 4 sentences in this paragraph, is that ok?
Me: No. You need at least five.
Nightmare student: But I only have 4.
Me: Well, you need at least five so, add some more detail.
Nightmare student: I don't think I can, so can I just keep it with 4 sentences?
Me: Ok.
Nightmare student: Ok? Really?
Me: Yes. I mean, you'll lose points but you can do whatever you want.
Nightmare student: Hmmm. Ok, so if I need to add some more information that's not on the outline, can I do it?
Me {trying unbelievably hard to keep my cool at this point}: What did I say in class?
Nightmare student: You said to use the outline.
Me: And?
Nightmare student: I don't remember.
Me: Do what you need to do to complete the assignment. All the instructions are in the book.
Nightmare student: So can I add more information.
{Kill me now.}
Me: Yes.
Nightmare student: So should I retype my outline?
Me: No. {I had to put a stop to this} I explained all of this already before. I'm sure you understand. Read the instructions in the book. Ask a friend if you're unsure. I'm not repeating any of this information again.
Nightmare student: Ok. But you said we can email you if we have any questions, right?
{Sob}
Me: Yes, but I will not answer any questions about things I've covered in class or that are in the book. Only specific questions related to your assignment.
I am NOT looking forward to checking my email this weekend. There's always one student every semester that makes you dread walking into class. Sigh.
